You live you learn

Exams starts tommorrow and I'm putting on a brave front. God knows how prepared I am. I pray to be in the right state of mind by 2pm tommorrow. I'll put in my best effort but my head just keeps repeating the scene in the "Fight Club" of Tyler Durden in the limo and how he said to let go. Let go of the steering wheel. Let go of controlling life. Once you've crashed, you realize it ain't half bad.

I wonder how it feels to be in a car crash. Sometimes, when I'm getting a ride on the "Love Machine", I wonder how it would feel to be suddenly flung off and crashing into a barrier or a car 20 metres away. It'd be like pressing a pause button on everything that's happening in my life now. Nothing would matter in that split second. Is this freedom or escapism?

My parents might be afraid to know I entertain such thoughts but I think they know I'm mature enough not to do anything stupid. I keep my responsibilities and I keep my word.

I have never really liked to think in the vein of "if only things were different". Personally, I'd rather affect those changes to occur than wish for them.. but we are all bound someway or another to the choices that we have made before and also bound to the type of people we are. So while stuff like exams suck, there's nothing to do but do them well because the choice was mine and it has been made.

Nothing to do but to walk on and love life as it is, the bitter and the sweet.