I'm on Today

I was woken up today by an SMS.

"Eh, is that you on the cover of Today?"

I woke up instantly. *okay maybe not instantly* and wondered what could possibly happen to have my face on the cover of Today. I figured it'd probably be just a prank or something. Headed down to school, turned on my laptop and received an MSN message.

"What you doing on the cover of Today?"

I was like.. I dont know. How'd you know?

"Look at Gerard's Nick" and I looked and saw *FI FI ON TODAY*

Hmm. Another MSN message about the cover of Today spurred me to investigate. I switched the browser to TodayOnline (which luckily was still free unlike some other publications) and downloaded the publication. The first thing I saw was a Crimewatch Ad which got me thinking that I might have been just a passing resemblance to a "felon" on the ad or something....

until I saw this



Erm. and then I stared at this...



Oh man.

That was that percussions performance I was involved in a few weeks ago in Orchard Road. Got paid $50 for quite a number of hours walking around whacking a drabuka. Played that thing till my hands got sore. It didn't help that they put an "orgasing" photo of me with the drabuka in a very suggestive position.

Ah well.. at least I'm on the front page of a local newspaper. Condolences are welcome though.

MTV. I Like.

If you happen to walk past the new National Library yesterday at about 7pm, you might have seen a quite a sizable group of people clapping and dancing to a band performance.

But not any ordinary band performance. This one didn't have any sound coming from it.

I was part of that band and strangely, I wasn't behind the drums. I was cavorting and putting up a posuer-ish pretense of playing the bass. Unplugged. Not acoustic, really unplugged.. no wires. Even the amps weren't plugged in. There were no sounds except for the sound of the drums and our unamplified singing.

What's up with this? Have I gone mad?

Quite. Anthony from Garage Studios needed a guy to fill in for his bassist for a video shoot yesterday. We were supposed to just pretend to play, to a real crowd, carry real equipment, do clapping and all that.. all video-ed and everything. We even had make-up and proper lighting.. heh.. really quite interesting. I was just playing on some frets, playing "Slither" and a lame attempt at "I will Survive" .. pointless.. even the bass wasn't even in tune I think.

But who cared? The people got their video and I got my 30 bucks for an hour's posuering work. *grinz* but ah.. if you ever get to watch the video anywhere.. please watch it with a pinch of salt. It's sure to be a laugh. Heh.

The "Punkrock Bass Drum Leap of Faith"

You know you had or watched a helluva show if you find yourself in the Hospital Emergency Ward at the end of the day.

Just got back from the Singapore General Hospital because Roslan needed medical attention. He caught a dose of "Did-A-Punkrock-Jump-Off-The-Bassdrum-And-Now-My-Middle-Collateral-Ligaments-Are-Torn" syndrome. The Leaven Trait's show at Takashimaya fountain today was standard rockin and it ended off on an amazing high note of everyone crashing together and Ros running from stage right and rightfully LEAPING off the bassdrum to land on his right leg and back, guitar clasped tight and GT6 effects in tow. Knowing how tough he is, nobody thought he could be injured until he didn't get up and the emcee asked "Are you okay?" to which he replied with a grin "I don't know!"

Then proceeded Operation: Support Ros's Leg all the way to SGH in which we spent the next 3 hours and Ros got wheelchaired, x-rayed, prodded and taught the Art of the Crutches Stairclimb by master psychoterapist Ellipan. Overall, the lessons of the day can be summarized as follows:

A. We're not young anymore
B. We need to stretch before every show
C. We now know what a Vulgar Stress Test is. (If you want to know, ask me)
D. Drummers only need to worry about flying wood splinters (or in extreme cases, flying cymbals that lodge in the neck)

So, if you know Roslan and want to help him out, we're having the Support Ros's Leg Fund.. forward any sum of money at our future gigs soon. We'll keep a guitar case open with a nice little sign. He may be needing surgery soon and your little contribution will go a long way in supporting Punk Rock Jumps.

Anyway, drop by the band's site and show the guy some love. Leaventrait.com Get well soon, Ros!

End of Holidays

It is the last day of the holidays and in many, many ways, my first. I sit to take stock of all that has happened from day one. I realize that I have suppressed a lot of emotions during this time, both pleasant and unpleasant. I have been in this working mentality, in which I push myself to deliver results but now there is this whole mess of feeling, emotion and thinking to catch up with that I have no idea where to begin.


Today, I finally came to terms that the band that I started out in, the band that gave me my first real stage performance experience, the band that I grew up as a musician in, the band with whom I have shared many dreams and aspirations with, the band called Moren Tea Estate is dead. It is a sorry state of affairs.
Please know that the band is dead not because of what you did to Ben but what you did to all of us. We were the price you were willing to pay. Perhaps it is simply that the rest of us treasured the band more than you did. While I understand the motivations behind what you did or have been doing, I know that personally I would have acted different because of the ties I have built with my friends and because I hold myself up to a higher measure.
Self-destruction is a choice, my friend. We can always choose.


I have also been caught up in a whirlwind of self-destructive behaviour. I knew it to be self-destructive because I knew it was wrong but I continued anyway. It was self-destruction and definitely lust. Though I have almost forgotten how it feels to be in love, I knew what we had can hardly be called love. We were close but in the wrong circumstances. To me, we both did wrong but I knew it was weak behaviour and I hated myself for it. You're right, it is the memories of how I felt when we touched and I hope you understand why I need to shut it out. No matter how we justify it, it was still wrong. I hope we can just simply leave it behind us and for what its worth, I'm sorry.


Being involved with Baybeats was something of a milestone for me. I have finally the opportunity to work for the beacon of local music shows and work with the many known faces from the scene. It is a measure of how much I enjoyed their music when I am still a little too shy or "starstruck" to speak to some of them on normal terms. Yes. Me, shy.

Coordinating the whole logistical move of assets from SMU's old Bukit Timah Campus to the City Campus, working out how all the clubs are going to be bunking into the new campus (considering many of the club areas are still on construction) and dealing with these issues daily have been quite an achievement and all because of the amazing, efficient and reliable people that I had working with me through it all. Zhong Yi, Leonard, Jason, Sebs, Xiaoxiang, Felix, Weizhong. What a stellar team. We'll have our welfare dinner soon enough guys, we deserve it.

I was Convocation 2005 Front of House Director yesterday and it was seriously flawless. I have to profusely thank my assistants, Adelene, Yvonne and Jiahuan, who have been the backbone of the whole department. It was, in the end, the worst case scenario that we had to deal with and we handled everything perfectly... even the registration of about 1200 freshmen was fine. I really wanted to thank everyone who volunteered to help out with FOH personally but I couldn't yesterday. Big thanks guys, you all did amazing.

I got my Dean's List certificate a week ago but I'm still in a little state of disbelief about my scholarship. I received a call just a few days ago, telling me that I have been shortlisted for a scholarship. 9 people chosen for 5 awards. I went for the group interview the next day with 2 Year 4s who are really quite experienced with such interviews and I was a nervous wreck for the first 30 seconds. But I luckily managed to get a grip of myself and took control of how I felt and spoke out. I got chosen. Yesterday, at convocation, I took some time off my FOH Director duty to go on stage and receive the scholarship. I have seriously never considered myself to ever be in there. Surreal still. How can I be a scholar? My teachers back in Secondary School will never believe this. Bastards will think I probably stole someone else's. The Discipline Master back in SAJC told my dad that I'll grow up to be a criminal. Haha. Just goes to show that you can screw what these people say and decide exactly the kind of person you want to be. There are no limits to what you can do.

Ah well, that's enough looking back. Plenty of stuff to look forward to. Honestly, can't wait for classes to start. Heh.

Void Deck Rituals

The task ahead beckons but with a different call everyday. You usually find me at school because honestly, school's my retreat. No one's hardly ever there and the only people that I bump into are friends. My quiet space is in that little niche in the CCA Area of SMU's City Campus. Everyone needs their little quiet space. My problem is my quiet space is in the very heart of the last place I should go to distress.

--

My favourite time of the night. 3 am. And yes, I'm at the void deck again. The white of my laptop screen a little dim to conserve what battery usage I can. The night bringing about it a crisp notion of silence and cold. My handphone happily buzzing with messages from a very nocturnal friend. I sit on a green plastic bench, something that distinctly reminds me of lego. A crack breaks the silence. The uncle on the stone bench just ahead cracked open his can of soya bean and sat savouring it with a ciggarette. He didn't stay very long. Finished with his drink, he got up his rickety black bicycle and pushed off onto the night road. The occasional vehicle breaking the silent monotony. What refreshing air, what a majestic sky, what an inspiring moment.

It'll be quite perfect if I wasn't mosquito-food at the same time.

Quite amazing the many varied rituals that are conducted in the sanctity of the HDB Void Deck. The loud, garish Malay Weddings, the omnious Chinese funerals, the get-together Pot Luck dinners.. the secret rendevouz of young couples, the quiet solitude of lonely elderly, the quick refuge of a rebellious youth, the hot-blooded confrontations of gang members.. and now one more to add to the long long list, the starving undergrad searching for his wireless internet connection.

--

Twenty two years old in two months. Is this old? Some of you older folks might snigger a little at my youthful musings. Some of you younger people might wonder at my ramblings. Honestly, I fear sometimes... at the speed of which we hurtle towards a finality to our perceived sense of immortality. It is perhaps this anxiety for death which breeds a zest of life that inspired men to push for greater things. Things often beyond their immediate reach.