Breather

I must apologize for the inactivity on this page. I would not attribute it to laziness or being too busy but rather having a brimful of things to share and not knowing where to begin.

The exams came and left me with surprisingly better results than I expected. Yes, I did well. Yes, I got into the Dean's List. Now, what? I have always wondered what it would take to be counted among the academic best. I would never have expected it. My pre-tertiary grades can account for that. Why did I work so hard to get it? I needed to prove to myself that I could do it. It is a not a label that I chased just so I could parade it. It was a fundamental need to assure myself that yes what I have said to friends and family all along was right, if I really studied I really can get the grades and bloody hell, so can you.

It's been simply mad since the exams ended. So many obligations, so many things to do. I hope you guys can keep me sane.

There's a whole backlog of pics to upload, I'll clear them soon.

You are who you're with

Hey, meet the people I always hang around with.



We're an intellectual bunch. Really.







Heh. Rockstars.

You live you learn

Exams starts tommorrow and I'm putting on a brave front. God knows how prepared I am. I pray to be in the right state of mind by 2pm tommorrow. I'll put in my best effort but my head just keeps repeating the scene in the "Fight Club" of Tyler Durden in the limo and how he said to let go. Let go of the steering wheel. Let go of controlling life. Once you've crashed, you realize it ain't half bad.

I wonder how it feels to be in a car crash. Sometimes, when I'm getting a ride on the "Love Machine", I wonder how it would feel to be suddenly flung off and crashing into a barrier or a car 20 metres away. It'd be like pressing a pause button on everything that's happening in my life now. Nothing would matter in that split second. Is this freedom or escapism?

My parents might be afraid to know I entertain such thoughts but I think they know I'm mature enough not to do anything stupid. I keep my responsibilities and I keep my word.

I have never really liked to think in the vein of "if only things were different". Personally, I'd rather affect those changes to occur than wish for them.. but we are all bound someway or another to the choices that we have made before and also bound to the type of people we are. So while stuff like exams suck, there's nothing to do but do them well because the choice was mine and it has been made.

Nothing to do but to walk on and love life as it is, the bitter and the sweet.

Unencyclopedia-tric Questions

Can the birds ever choose to keep silent?
Does a drifting leaf have in itself any way to stop itself from falling to the ground?
Will the tides ever stop?
Do lovers ever look away?
Can a mother ever choose to not love her own?
Do criminals ever weep?
Should a man ever cry?

No signs of spectacular vocab here

Being called a rare gentleman by Izati seems to be praise of the highest order. *beams* Flattering, flattering.. hardly deserving.

It is a little heart-wrenching to have the summer holidays suddenly coming upon us right after the exams. I'll probably end up missing hanging out with everyone in school so much that I'll just be sticking around school through the 3 months and hoping we get to congregate somewhere in the new campus. The new campus is too big, too dispersed. Cosy Bukit Timah rocks.

I think I'm in self-denial. I need to come to terms that we're really leaving this gorgeous campus. It's like a break-up. Or maybe I'm just being over-sentimental.

Or maybe I'm just having a couple of loose screws from all the mugging. Nah. I'm fine. Just ask my pet rock, Eugene.

Anyway, I've kinda accepted the fact that I'll probably not be able to hang to a GPA that never fails to put people into a state of disbelief. Not unless I give up all my other passions. I'm still determined to graduate with at least a 3.7 though and have a life. If I keep at this for the next four years, my younger sister might be finishing her As before I know it while the youngest will already be Sec 2?

Crazy if I'm not going to be a part of their lives while we're still growing up.

Shortly more than a week and exams will be over. Work would only have just begun though and damn it, screw worrying over the grades.

Mid Mugging Madness

I have a class at 8am and I'm still online. Loaded with bread oozing with Nutella and Butter. I've been eating that since I could remember. When I was in my peak sailing training days, I could easily eat 1/2 a loaf of bread in one sitting. Now, 4 slices suffices. I wonder if my decreasing appetite is reflective of a lower metabolism rate. That would be good news. I'd gain more weight and probably can get into a boat and start sailing again.

Andrew, the OSL guy in charge of Sailing in school, asked me if I wanted to join him and represent Singapore for some keelboat regatta up northern malaysia waters. I figured I couldn't commit. Not this year though I dearly want to. Lots of things to reach for and achieve while still having the cover (or excuse) of being an undergraduate.

Nothing interesting or funny happens when you're mugging all day and night except maybe you feel a great urge to be munching on something all the time. Also, the more my brain starts working absorbing everything from business torts to object oriented diagrams, the more my brain starts thinking up wicked drum beats and sequences. I was going through syllogistic logic (analytical skills) when my hands and feet tapped out a 5/4 sequence ascending to a 6/8 then to 7/8 and god knows what.

freaky shit. but good.

of course, when i actually get myself on a drumset and start THINKING drums.. all this magic fades out.

You know the best part about playing drums? It's not the coolness or whatever you think it is. It's the fact that the drummer becomes every song he plays. No actually, he doesn't play the song.. he reacts to the song. He lifts it up and brings it down when he feels like it. A guitarist even a bassist know they are parts of the song.. they're playing music, a part of the song. The drummer carries the song, is carried by it and just kinda reacts. He's part of the groove, he holds the rythmn, he makes standard or awkward beats with his snare and he punctuates with his crashes.

I'm biased but I think drumming is the best thing to do in a band. =)

Okay, back to mugging reality.

morning weakness

Both were convinced
of a surge of passion between them.
Such certainty is beautiful
but uncertainty is more beautiful still.

When love is uncertain
it mingles in with pain and longing
more beautiful yes
but sadly only in the vein of tragedies.

The holidays approach and I'm slipping back into a whimsical mood.

Post Supper Drama

After supper at KTM Railway Station, I got a ride home with Jamiel last night. 330 am in the morning and his motorbike died, right in front of the new SMU City Campus.

Despite much persuasion, the bike refused to comply to getting us home so we ended up pushing the "Love Machine" all the way to the Shell Station near Tanglin. We rested, tried negotiating with the bike again.. then went down through Nassim Road to school.

Nassim Road at 4plus in the morning isn't a very nice place to have a walk.

Still, we made it in one piece so we just chilled at Evans Building till dawn, grabbed some breakfast and took a bus home.

Yea, we have pics.